So Proud!

One of the most amusing behaviors that I've seen Daniel display is when he claps for himself after completing a task. He doesn't clap for just any accomplishment, but rather for those things that he deems worthy of someone else's praise. Whether I initiate the celebration or not, Daniel claps for himself when he does something for which he's earned praise in the past. He remembers the warm reception he got last time, and therefore claps as an incentive for others to join in. Most of the time, the clapping is infectious. He's very clever, that little boy of mine.

If I recall correctly, the clapping began at mealtimes. If Daniel was playing games instead of eating, I'd try to find imaginative ways (singing, mostly) to encourage him to eat. When he finally put some food into his mouth, I'd make a really big deal out of it. Clapping, cheering, even standing ovations. He loved it! Soon, this "performing" for praise spread to other daily activities. If I ask him to hand me an object and he cooperates, I'll thank him and he'll clap for himself. He claps when he puts his toys away (I've even caught him doing this at music class several times -- he'll put a prop back into its container and clap discretely). Daniel also claps on cue when he hears others clapping. We could be at a restaurant where the waitstaff is singing "Happy Birthday" to a patron. Daniel will clap along with the group as if he is the one for whom the celebration is taking place!

I'm thrilled that Daniel can associate his positive behavior with being praised and feeling proud. Hopefully, he will continue to feel proud of his successes and accomplishments, and that feeling of pride will become addictive to him. Something I learned as a teacher and which holds true for parenting as well, is that the best way to discourage negative behaviors is to reinforce positive behaviors with praise. It's a Pavlovian concept, it's learned, and Daniel gets it.