Another Mommy Thing I Never Thought I'd Do

Rank it right up there with lollipops before dinner and skipping mittens when playing in the snow (not because I can't find them, but simply because they are a pain in the butt to get on). It's one of those things that I swore I'd never do with my children, at least on a habitual basis. And yet I've found myself back two weeks in a row, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. The horrific "it" I'm referring to is none other than lunch at McDonald's. The best part is, I'm apparently the last mother on earth to discover this magical place as a viable option for a meal with a 2-year-old. Better late than never, right?

We've established a fun little routine on Tuesdays. After our new indoor soccer class, we follow the caravan to a nearby McDonald's for a quick, laid-back lunch. On our first visit, it took me 10 minutes to order and I was nervous about Daniel sitting alone with the other kids (see above photo). By the second visit, I had my order down pat and placed Daniel's food at the kids' table while simultaneously carrying on a conversation with the other Mommies. I always shuddered at the thought of becoming one of those moms who relies on fast food to keep her kids satiated and satisfied. I swore upside down and backwards that I would never resort to fast food on a regular basis. But then I tried it. And my practical side kicked the ass of the idealist in me.

Not only is McDonald's a great place with kids because of the speed with which you get your food, but said food isn't too bad in the taste department, either. I've stuck with the southwest salad with crispy chicken (a little indulgent, yes) and I'm actually enjoying it! Daniel seems to love the chicken nuggets (he'll eat 3 out of a 4-piece order, kindly leaving one for me to nosh on as I walk his tray to the trash can), and he ate the apple slices in week 2 with as much vigor as he ate the french fries in week 1 (don't worry, he'll learn). The piece de resistance? The Happy Meal toy, of course! For two weeks in a row, Daniel has gotten Star Wars-themed key chains -- one Darth Vader and one R2-D2. These trinkets are cool enough to keep him enthralled while he eats his lunch, even if he does forget about them once we get home.

At McDonald's, the tables and chairs are kid-friendly, in that they are bolted to the floor and cannot be knocked over. The mom-and-kid crowd basically takes over the place at lunchtime, so other patrons expect there to be children running loose. If your kids are well-behaved, then BONUS! You may actually get to chew your food and enjoy your lunch before it becomes apparent that your child is ready to leave (like when Daniel wandered over to the trash cans and started fishing around for surprises). After our week 2 lunch, I was in no rush to leave and I allowed Daniel to play outside on the "Playland" structure. As I watched him run and climb with a look of pure joy in his eyes, I thought to myself, This is great! My child is satiated, satisfied, and happy. And now he's going to burn off a little extra energy before going home to nap. What's wrong with that?

The Alterna-Playground

Daniel had no interest in napping this afternoon. After a long day at school, you'd think he'd be pooped. Nope! After "resting" in his crib for over an hour (I'm using quotation marks because he spent most of the time singing and playing with trucks), I admitted defeat and removed him from the confines of his crib. We headed for the playground, which is just a 10-minute walk from our house. The playground was crowded with moms and kids, all enjoying the beautiful spring-like weather. Daniel seemed excited to climb on the jungle gym, which he did, and then proceeded to make his way around to all of the equipment in about 15 minutes. Then he spotted the Bobcats.

They were parked in the lot by the playground, and each still had its snow plow attached. Daniel was awestruck. There was no turning back. The playground was a distant memory -- not nearly as cool as the Bobcats. Daniel has seen them before, plowing our driveway while we sat inside and looked out the window. But here we were, up close and personal, and touching was not out of the question. He investigated every inch of those Bobcats, from the "Caution" decals to the hydraulic hoses. This went on for at least a half-hour. I finally managed to pry him away from the Bobcats. He didn't go willingly, but I DID promise him that he could watch the construction taking place in our own street (Verizon is currently digging up lawns in order to install Fios). It was a trade-off, but at least I didn't have to explain the anatomy of a Bobcat for the ten-thousandth time.

A Simple Act of Kindness

This morning, as I walked out of Daniel's preschool after drop-off, I was stopped by another Mom. Her son is in Daniel's class and we have been acquaintances for a number of years. She started by acknowledging that she felt awkward about what she had to say. She mentioned that she had heard from someone else what I had recently been through, and she wanted to share her story with me. This Mom, who has a 7-month-old in addition to her son who is Daniel's age, told me that she had been through extensive fertility treatments with her first pregnancy. She wanted to recommend her doctor to me and to let me know that she was happy to help me out in any way she could. I was not only surprised to hear that she had been through a tough pregnancy experience (she does, after all, have two healthy kids who are just 2 years apart), but I was extremely touched that she would reach out to me and offer whatever comforting words she could. That's what has been so uplifting about this whole situation: So many people have shared their personal stories of hardship with me, with the purpose of encouraging me to believe that everything will work out in the end. By sharing her story's happy ending, this Mom allowed me to keep the faith and find comfort in knowing that I am not alone. A simple act of kindness, perhaps, but an extraordinary start to my Monday.

This afternoon, I resumed my exercise routine on the treadmill. It has been about 4 months since I last worked out (with a handful of yoga classes here and there). I am feeling physically well, less than a week following surgery. I want to feel strong and healthy. I want to feel physically able. It felt amazing to get my heart-rate up and to feel my muscles working hard. My body has been so resilient over the past year. It hasn't failed me yet, but rather has performed reliably in the face of great strain and manipulation. For that, I am truly thankful.

I'm Back, Baby!

I turned 33 yesterday. Aside from the chronological milestone, I celebrated just having survived the hardest two weeks of my life. I grieved, I got angry, I accepted the reality of my situation...and, in the end, I learned something about myself. I am a resilient person -- I've endured a lot of hardship over the past 8 years, and I've survived. My most recent challenge has taught me that being a mother means having to hold it together even when you feel like you're falling apart. Daniel is 2 and a half. He doesn't understand what it means to have a bad day. He has (blessedly) remained sheltered from life's cruelties. The last thing I want is for him to grow up with memories of a childhood punctuated by his Mom feeling sad and defeated all the time. It is my responsibility to pass on my resilience to him. To teach him that he can stand up to the forces that fight to keep him down. I want him to be proud of the person I am. To admire what I've lived through. If that means putting aside my own needs and wants in order to be more present in his life, I will do it. I am a mother, and that is what we do.

Mothers survive because their children need them. Their children need to feel safe, need to know that Mom will always be there. Mothers sacrifice so much of themselves because they have chosen to put another person's well-being before their own. These past couple of weeks, I've learned that not only am I capable of making this sacrifice, but I am happy to do it. I've raised an amazing little boy. Sometimes I don't give myself enough credit. One thing I'm sure of: He needs me to continue showing him what it means to be a happy, content person. Even on days when I struggle with this myself, I need to be strong for Daniel. That is my job.