Daniel has never had "stranger" issues. He's friendly to the supermarket checker, the Quest nurse, and pretty much any young woman who pays even a little bit of attention to him. So it naturally follows that he hasn't experienced the separation anxiety that typically befalls most toddlers in the 18 to 24-month-old range. Peter and I started leaving him with his grandparents at a very young age, so we could get out of the house for a quiet meal or even a (rare) movie. To this day, Daniel has never shown any sadness or anger when we say goodbye and walk out the door. A mother or father with a low level of confidence in his or her parenting skills might see this (lack of) behavior as a manifestation of the child's indifference towards his parents. I know better. I simply think that we did right by Daniel by taking time for ourselves and not feeling guilty about occasionally leaving him behind. So when Daniel got all worked up this weekend at the "Thomas and Friends" live show, I was amazed to see him demonstrate that he does, in fact, experience separation anxiety. Just not the kind I was expecting.
In between scenes, the trains would exit the stage and the curtains would close. This happened maybe 5 or 6 times throughout the entire production. Each time, Daniel would burst into tears, climb into my lap, and bury his face in my shoulder. It was like he was terrified and saddened at the same time. The trains had gone away! They had left him behind! There was no guarantee they would return. But they always did. Each time he broke down, I would comfort him by saying, "They're coming back, I promise." The curtains would open and the trains would reappear on stage with their googly eyes and lopsided smiles. Daniel would turn around and become refocused on the show. Even after the trains disappeared and reappeared several times, Daniel would still burst into tears when it happened again. He was almost inconsolable! Whereas Daniel doesn't typically mind when I leave him behind with his grandparents or a babysitter, he must have felt terribly hurt by the trains' departures. It just goes to show that separation anxiety has practically nothing to do with how much time a parent spends hovering over his or her child.
1 comment:
This was so enjoyable to read. I actually could feel the sadness Daniel experienced when Thomas and friends left the stage. His feelings were hurt when the curtain closed not knowing if they were coming back. Certainly not the same as turning off the tape on television, huh? This was the real thing. God Bless Him!! Great blog Stef! xoxoxo
Post a Comment