The Potty-Training Experiment

It's nearly impossible to be the parent of a 3-year-old and not get caught up in the anxiety surrounding potty training. I'll admit that I've eavesdropped on groups of Moms discussing how their kids made the switch from diaper to undies, simultaneously making mental notes and breathing a sigh of relief that my child was definitely not old enough and/or physically ready to take the plunge (so to speak).

All that changed this week.

With a month of downtime between the end of camp and the start of the school year, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to suck it up and attempt to potty train Daniel. I imagined a couple of weeks of frustration, followed by a successfully potty-trained child returning to school with a brand-new pair of big-boy underpants. I was a fool.

I truly believed that Daniel was ready. Sure, he never really told me when he had to go, but he showed interest in the potty and the whole process in general. He liked sitting on the potty, but nothing ever happened while he was on the potty. He enjoyed wiping and flushing, but didn't seem to be making the connection between the act of waste elimination and the routine surrounding it. But I was willing to give it my best shot. I spent a week collecting bits of wisdom from other Moms who had recently done the dirty deed. I shopped for paraphernalia like potty seats, countless pairs of undies, sticker charts, candy rewards, and lots of toys that I was hoping to dangle in front of Daniel like a carrot to a horse.

Sequestered in the house for 2 days, we did the potty dance until we were blue in the face. I set the timer, watched him like a hawk, and lured him to the potty with jelly beans. Sometimes, he would sit for 5 minutes and grow antsy. Other times, he sat for a 45-minute stretch with nothing but my Droid Apps to keep him occupied. After the second marathon sitting, Daniel reluctantly got up (I swear, he would've sat for another half-hour) and promptly peed in his underpants. That was the last straw for me.

The final 2-day stats:

21 times on the potty, no results

8 pairs of wet underpants

2 pairs of pooped underpants

100's of jelly beans consumed

2 missed naps

1 confused and pissed-off dog

countless gray hairs added to my head

We're going to take a break for now and wait until Daniel shows more initiative (or until he graduates high school -- whichever comes first)! Let the jelly bean detox begin...