One of the craziest things about being a parent is how wide a gap can exist between your expectations and the reality of the situation. Take the Wiggles concert. I purchased the tickets months ago, and I've been eagerly anticipating Daniel's reaction ever since. In the days leading up to the concert, Daniel and I speculated about which songs they would sing. Based on other people's tips for making the most of our Wiggles experience, I went out and purchased a plastic rose for Dorothy and a bone for Wags, and made an elaborate poster. I was already imagining the fabulous photos I'd take and the indelible memories we'd carry home from the concert.
Everything started off smoothly. We had great seats in the front of the balcony, and Daniel had a clear view of the stage. The Wiggles came out and began signing and dancing. Daniel's expression was serious, but he seemed to be into it. After a couple of songs, it all fell apart. In the middle of "Yellow Bird," Daniel's face crumpled and he burst into tears. He sobbed, "I don't like this one!" I reassured him that the song was almost over and tried to calm him down. But even after the song ended, he continued to cry. "I want to go home!" he insisted. And with those 5 words, my Wiggles concert fantasy began to disintegrate before my eyes.
Peter and I took turns carrying him out of the theater. While I was outside in the lobby with him, I carried him down the stairs and tried to distract him. He continued to say, "We have to go home," and I couldn't figure out what exactly had set him off. The only thing he offered by way of an explanation was, "It's too loud!" I offered to hold his ears, to sit with him and watch the TV monitors from the lobby, and to buy him M&M's. Nothing worked. He was seriously freaked out. And all I could think was, We're going to have to leave the concert.
Almost immediately, I thought about the bitter irony of the situation. My expectations had been so high, there was no way the actual concert could've lived up to them. My disappointment was so pervasive that I felt ashamed to have expected such a flawless experience. When you're the parent of a three-year-old, there's no such thing as a flawless experience. The funny thing is, as I looked around the lobby of the Tower Theater, I noticed countless other parents toting unhappy kiddies out of the venue. Most of the adults looked defeated, like they were waving the white flag at life and giving in to the hysterical children by their sides. I realized that I was not alone. I was not the first parent in history whose expectations were unrealistically high and who was met with opposition in the form of a temperamental toddler.
I let myself off the hook. I took a deep breath and vowed to curb my disappointment, regardless of the day's outcome. While it was a bummer that Daniel was unhappy, and that we were missing most of the concert, it wasn't his fault. He wasn't doing it maliciously, he was simply being a three-year-old! If I wanted to be a good Mom, I had to take the bad with the good --even if the bad came at such an inopportune time as in the middle of our first-ever Wiggles concert. I wasn't about to feel sorry for myself, even as the tears welled up in my eyes. My job was to comfort my child and to make the best of the situation. Pull yourself together, Mommy!
I'm happy to report that we didn't leave the concert. After a couple more hand-offs between me and Peter, Daniel returned to his seat and held it together for the last couple of songs. He was rewarded with a rousing rendition of "Fruit Salad!" Although he continued to insist that we go home, he stopped crying and even seemed to enjoy what little of the show he did see! He spent the entire ride home "recreating" the concert from the back seat, mimicking the Wiggles and echoing the reassurance that Peter and I had fed him earlier.
Was it fair to expect the Wiggles concert to be such a transcendent experience? No. Was it typical parent behavior? Yes. Do I feel like I handled the situation reasonably well and made the best of it? Hell yes. I truly believe that Daniel's memories of the concert will be positive ones. And I will continue to go with the flow. Because in this life, there's no other way to do it!
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