Yup, I'm THAT Mom

When you become a parent for the first time, you establish a mental list of things that you will never, ever do or say to your child. Years of observation have made you confident that you will make the correct parenting choices when it is your turn to raise a little one. In my case, I had accumulated a "list" of what not to do not only from being around other parents at the mall/grocery store/amusement park, but from spending 7 years as an elementary school teacher. I vowed to be a better parent because of my teaching experience. As a teacher, I encountered examples of good and bad parenting on a daily basis. I promised myself that I would learn from others' mistakes and practice the most effective and constructive parenting techniques when it came to raising my child. Well, all of those good intentions flew out the window yesterday.

The plan was to stop by Whole Foods to pick up a couple of items on the way to Little Gym with Daniel. I was hoping to pop in and out in a matter of 20 minutes. But my darling 2-year-old had other plans. His new "thing" is to refuse to sit in the shopping cart. Instead, he wants to "Push! Push!" I let him do just that at Giant earlier in the week, and we spent 45 excruciating minutes weaving up and down aisles trying not to take out any elderly shoppers. I wasn't about to suffer the same fate twice in one week, so I had to come up with a Plan B. If Daniel didn't want to sit in the cart, how could I entice him to cooperate? And that's when it happened. I became THAT mom.

As I struggled to lift Daniel's wriggling body into the shopping cart, I said, "They have cake inside. Do you want some cake?" Those must have been the magic words, because my defiant toddler became putty in my hands. Cake samples. That's all it would take to coax him into cooperating with me. We were at Whole Foods, land of free samples, so I thought this would be an easy transaction. Unfortunately, it was 10:00 in the morning and the only samples available were apple slices. After going back 3 times for more apples, Daniel expected me to hold up my end of the bargain. "Cake," he demanded. Heading back to the prepared foods section, the bakery shelves caught my eye. I spotted the one thing that would allow me to finish my shopping without encountering a tantrum from Daniel. Cookies.

I picked out a chocolate chip cookie and handed it to Daniel. His eyes lit up and he began to munch on the sweet treat. In an instant, I had done one of the things that I vowed NEVER to do: to placate/shut my child up by giving him candy or sweets. In the moment, I panicked. It seemed like the best option. I'm sure parenting "experts" would disagree and be able to come up with much more creative options. Screw 'em. It worked like a charm. Of course, now that I've opened Pandora's Box, there's no going back.

My Little Character

On Friday night, we took Daniel to the Please Touch Museum for their Halloween party. He dressed as a Bob the Builder-type construction worker, tool belt and all. Aside from the helmet, he probably didn't even realize he was wearing a costume!

Daniel enjoyed seeing all of the costumed children (and adults), but he especially loved the music that blared from the speakers. I caught him grooving along to the music several times. He played in the exhibits and gathered treats from the tables scattered throughout the museum. The chocolate Peeps and gummy body parts weren't that interesting to him, but the mini Hess truck was a huge hit!

With the crowds and noise, I thought that Daniel would've grown cranky as the night went on. But he was cooperative and flexible -- especially waiting in line to get dinner, well past his normal mealtime. He just took it all in.


I can't wait to see his reaction on Halloween, when groups of costumed kids come to our door for candy. Peter and I will take Daniel Trick-or-Treating around the street until he gets tired. Last year, just 2 months after learning how to walk, he made it to 4 or 5 houses. This year, I have a feeling I'll be chasing him up and down driveways!

When I picked Daniel up from school today, he was in rare form. He gave Miss Margie a kiss goodbye and flashed a big toothy smile when I asked him how he smiled for Picture Day. Margie looked at me and said, "He's a real character." The funny thing is, she sees just the tip of the iceberg.

Guilt that Only a Mother Could Have

A little over 2 years ago, I gave up a successful teaching career to be a stay-at-home mom. Life at home with Daniel brought me more joy (and more challenge) than my job ever could. I always thought I'd have one or two more children, and spend the next 5 to 10 years nurturing my little ducks and sending them off to school. Daniel is now 2 years old, and I want so badly to give him a sibling that I feel guilty for not being able to do so quickly and easily. Every time I hear about another Mom being pregnant with her second child, I feel a pang of guilt. Why is it that some women can just wake up one morning and say, "I think it's time to give Timmy a little brother or sister" and then *POOF* they are pregnant? Why is it that my little guy, who would make an AMAZING big brother, has to be the only child in his preschool class who doesn't yet have a sibling? And, most significantly, why do I feel so damn guilty about it?

Last night, Peter and I attended Daniel's back-to-school night. While we watched a video of the kids at play, his teacher leaned over and whispered to me that Daniel loves to push around the baby stroller and "take care" of the baby dolls. My heart simultaneously soared and dropped. While most people aren't aware that we are actively trying for another baby, it seems like I can't get through a single day without feeling that longing...and that guilt. Daniel deserves to have a brother or sister to take under his wing. A constant playmate. A buddy for life. And I deserve the chance to give him that most precious of gifts.

Down on the Farm

Today I accompanied Daniel's preschool to Freddy Hill Farm. He and I went around the same time last year, but a lot has changed since then. Here is a photo taken on last year's trip:


Daniel was 16 months old, and had only been walking for a couple of months. I carried him through the cornstalk maze and stood with him while he watched the "big kids" go down the giant slide. He wasn't interested in the free ice cream cone after the hayride.

Now, here's a photo from today's trip:

Not only did Daniel pick out his own pumpkins, but he made me chase him all over the pumpkin patch as he feverishly searched for the tractor that had brought us there. With enthusiasm, he skipped through the pumpkins (yes, tripping a couple of times) shouting, "Pumpkins! Tractor!" When I asked him to help me find his friend Lexi, he took off across the field shouting "Lexi!" He eventually found her.

The hayride brought us over to the cornstalk maze and giant slide, but something else caught Daniel's eye. There were three old tractors parked nearby, with kids climbing all over them. When it was Daniel's turn, he made the most of it: pulling gears, turning the steering wheel, and making tractor sound effects. He also begged, "On! Go!" until I explained that the tractors didn't move. Still, he was in heaven.

He finally agreed to climb down from the tractor and head into the corn maze. I chased him the whole way through, and we didn't get nearly as lost as last year! He balked at the slide until he watched a couple of kids go down and decided that it was for him. He almost went down by himself ("Me," he insisted) but at the last minute turned around and asked for me to go with him. We were all smiles. His teachers sat at the bottom, taking pictures of all the kids sliding down.

Our last stop of the day was at the store for our free ice cream! Unlike last year, when Daniel couldn't have cared less about an ice cream cone, today he told me that he wanted "chocolate!" As he sat down next to Lexi to enjoy his treat, I marveled at how grown up he has become in just 12 short months. And then I began to wonder what next year's trip has in store!

Hitting His Groove

Daniel did not cry at drop-off this morning! Even though he was one of the first to arrive in his classroom, he was sufficiently distracted by the container of miniature pumpkins and gourds just inside the doorway. His teacher, Miss Sandy, made a big deal out of finding the toy fire engine in the play kitchen (another good distraction). Daniel went over to look. Instead of grabbing the fire engine, though, he picked up a little black purse and turned to walk away. I told him he could bring the purse over to the sink where we washed his hands. He was so eager to pick up the purse that he had no interest in drying his hands! He carried the purse over to one of the tables and began playing with a cash register toy. He seemed pretty engaged, so I took the opportunity to kiss him goodbye. He turned to me, but didn't cry! I hightailed it out of the room before he could change his mind!

When I arrived for pick-up, one of the other Moms told me that she had walked her daughter into the room right after I left and Daniel was fine. He even greeted her daughter with a "Hi, Lexi!" I'm so happy that Daniel is getting used to his new routine and that he is enjoying school. I love looking through all of the papers that he brings home, and hearing his vocabulary grow by leaps and bounds as he interacts more and more with his peers.