Gender Roles Beyond Psych 101

Daniel loves trucks. I mean, he LOVES them. Hand him a toy truck, or show him a picture of a truck, and his whole face lights up. "TRUCK! TRUCK!" he exclaims (though it sounds more like "DUCK! DUCK!"). Why do boys play with trucks, and girls with dolls? While this may sound more like the introductory lecture in your psych 101 class in college, it is a legitimate mystery that fascinates me on a regular basis. There are people who believe in the nature theory, that boys and girls are wired differently and thus gravitate towards different types of toys. Then there are those who believe in nurture theory, that our society "creates" gender roles by subconsciously (or not) surrounding boys with tough, messy things and girls with pink, frilly things. Well, you'll be relieved to know that I'm not going to endorse either theory here.

What interests me the most is what Daniel finds interesting or compelling. Yes, we've bought him many toys that are traditionally "boy-centric" like trucks and trains. But I've witnessed Daniel on numerous occasions pick up a doll at someone's house, or push around a toy stroller with genuine interest. I think it's wonderful. I'm just wondering at what point boys stop pushing around doll strollers and start asking their parents for the newest "war-machine" toy they saw advertised on TV. I wish I could say that my child will be immune to those societal gender roles, but I know he won't. One day he will turn up his nose at the dolls and the toy kitchens, and want to emulate his male friends who surround themselves with sports equipment, radio-controlled vehicles, and pretend weapons. And that is the day I will weep for my baby's loss of innocence.

I'd be hard-pressed to find a Mom out there who would admit to discouraging her son from playing with "girly" toys. But somewhere along the line, we must all be guilty. Why else would our little boys yell, "TRUCK!" rather than "TEA PARTY!" Is there something primal at work? Just the other night, as Daniel played with a bunch of old trucks and cars that his Mom-mom pulled out of storage, I began to wonder. As he moved the trucks back and forth on the ground, making a "GRRRRR" sound as he played, I couldn't remember ever having taught him how to "play" with trucks and cars. Where did he learn the sound effects to go along with his make-believe adventure? Was he born with this knowledge? Did he learn by observing other boys? And if it is all about environment and observation, then why doesn't he babble away while he's pushing around a doll stroller? That's how his Mommy does it.