If I were to summarize my experience as a Mom thus far, as Daniel is about to turn 21 months old, I'd have to say that it has been a pleasure. I am lucky enough to have been blessed with a healthy, beautiful little boy, who has exceeded my expectations in pretty much every way possible. He is happy, friendly, and easy-going. He sleeps through the night, wakes between 8:00 and 9:00 each morning, and naps for a solid 3 hours in the afternoon. He is flexible, and can adapt to most surroundings or situations. Best of all, he is sweet and lovable. I am head-over-heels in love with him. Which makes the prospect of having another baby all the more terrifying.
There are those people who, upon hearing about your perfect child, will shake their heads and warn, "Your next one is going to be a nightmare!" Amazingly, the possibility of having a child who doesn't sleep or eat, or one who is frequently ill-tempered, doesn't bother me nearly as much as the inevitable disruption of the life I've so carefully built for Daniel and myself. It took months and months of trial and error (mostly error) to get to a place where I can honestly say that I've got this Mommy thing down pat. I've achieved balance between the important things in my life: family, friends, fitness, and taking time for myself. Of course, Daniel being such an agreeable little guy certainly makes it easier. So why would I want to throw that all away for the chance to have another child?
There's the 3-hour afternoon break, which will probably disappear for a while. Goodbye, treadmill. Goodbye, books and magazines. Goodbye, blog (EEK!). The ability to leisurely stroll around the mall and stop for a quick lunch. Feeling no guilt when I want to go for a facial or manicure on a Saturday. A quick, relatively painless bedtime routine. Chances are, these luxuries will be gone. At least for the first year or two. Somehow, this doesn't deter me. I worry that another child will derail my focus away from my firstborn love. I'll miss the one-on-one time with Daniel that I so devoutly cherish. I even stress myself out over whether I could possibly love another child as much as I love Daniel. But then I think about how much more love I have to give, and it all seems clear.
Oh yeah, one more thing: It sure would be nice for Daniel to have a sibling to keep him occupied!
3 comments:
Just remember babies aren't babies forever. The years certainly go by very quickly. First time mommying is very difficult, no one said it would be easy. As you found out having a set routine is the key. Everything comes back to mind when you have another child and you find yourself saying, "Oh I remember how to do this". Dad and I had two in diapers at the same time. We survived and don't regret any of it for anything. There are no set rules. You do what is right for you and when you feel it is right. Oh by the way Rob, Jon and you were all good babies. Maybe it was luck, who knows? Wonderful blog!! Love-Mom xoxoxo
I had all of the same feelings...although I didn't have as much alone time with Gia since the babies are so close together. I loved the private time with her and feared not getting that anymore. I can't give her every second of my attention, but we definitely still have those moments quite often.
Everyone also told me that the second would probably be a terror. I actually think Reese is even more pleasant and easy-going than Gia. You'll find a new routine and love it just as much. I totally understand where you're coming from, because I finally feel like I have everything under control, and now we're thinking about a third...that's going to be a huge change for me! Good luck!
Stef,
I completely know how you feel. At 14 months, Belle and I finally had a fabulous schedule, a pattern, an understanding and I felt like a Mom on a mission that I was winning most of the time. With Claire's early arrival, I now have two little girls and am starting over. My emotional roller coaster the last week is fueled by feeling I'm somehow cheating Belle. I know she'll grow up close to and loving her sister and that the three of us will develop a pattern but it's definitely hard. You're doing a wonderful job, though, so know that won't change with another one!
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