One of Those Days

"I should have stayed in bed today," read a friend's Facebook status update. "Like," I clicked. Boy, did I know how she felt. Today was one of those days when you just feel defeated. Like you can't do anything right, and everyone is out to get you. Especially your almost three-year-old.

It started this morning, as I prepped Daniel for soccer class. Not wanting a repeat of last week's whiny and defiant behavior, I reminded him that he didn't get to go to McDonald's after last week's class because he hadn't listened to me or the coach. I asked him if he would listen this week and he said yes.

Soccer started out okay. We did a couple of stretches and running games. Daniel was kind of into it until he tripped and fell. He started crying and insisted that I pick him up and carry him. We walked around like that for a couple of minutes, and he seemed to be calming down. Then it was time to line up for a team photo. The photographer arranged all of the kids on a bench. Some were standing and some were seated, but all of them did what they were told. Not my son. He refused to stand where the photographer directed him. I tried to persuade him, to no avail. One of the other Moms even tried to bribe him with a cookie if he would pose for the picture! Still, he refused. I walked away, furious, and left him behind. I figured that he would cooperate if I wasn't standing over him. I was wrong. He burst into tears. The coach tried to console him and encouraged him to pose for the picture with the rest of the team. He kept crying and saying no. So I picked him up and left. That was it. No photo, no more soccer class. It was halfway through the class time and I couldn't take anymore. I told Daniel that we were leaving and not coming back. We were going straight home for the second week in a row. I was furious and upset, and felt like I was ready to burst into tears at any second. I felt like a terrible mother, I was embarrassed, and I felt like my child had completely walked all over me.

Later in the afternoon, we had a play date at a friend's house. I probably should have cancelled it based on the way the day was going, but it had already been rescheduled twice and I just wanted to get it over with. Daniel refused to go into the house at first, and once he was inside, he had no interest in playing with the other child. That would've been fine, but he wasn't sharing well and wanted me to follow him wherever he went. The clingy-ness was probably a result of him knowing how angry I was with him for his earlier behavior. He warmed up a bit and seemed to be content. But we stayed for dinner, and Daniel decided that the dinner table was a perfect place to reveal his new bad word, "Dammit." He was saying it under his breath, but I could hear him perfectly. I could tell he was trying to get a reaction out of his friend and the friend's mother, and I was mortified. I kept talking over him, louder and louder, in the hopes that they wouldn't catch on to what Daniel was really saying. I'm still not sure if I was successful. Needless to say, I couldn't wait to get out of there.

It's not even 8:00 and I am exhausted. I feel like I failed at everything today. Every decision I made was wrong. All I want to do is crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. Peter is putting Daniel to bed because I am so totally done with him for today. The best part of all this?Daniel has the day off from school tomorrow AND Peter isn't coming home until late tomorrow night. Is it possible for tomorrow to be worse than today? I guess I have no choice but to wait and find out.