More Than Just a Crib

Daniel has slept in the crib pictured above since he was about 6 months old and we moved him out of the Pack-n-Play in our bedroom. He never really outgrew it, never tried to climb out, never scaled the side of it (despite the fact that he could scale pretty much every other piece of furniture in the house). So I kept him in the crib, even as his peers were transitioning into "big-kid" beds. I didn't have any good reason to rush him into a bed. No safety issues, no sleep resistance, no baby siblings on the way. Which is why I'm having such a hard time right now finding the motivation to banish the crib, once and for all.

At one month shy of 3 and a half years old, Daniel is now showing signs that he is ready for a big-boy bed. He has climbed out twice during naptime, once coming downstairs to surprise me while I was on the treadmill and once finding himself perched in his top dresser drawer, peeling off band-aids and sticking them all over his body (see above photo). He has so many toys and stuffed animals in his crib that there is barely enough room for him to sleep. Furthermore, he is not napping as consistently as he was even 3 months ago. The bottom line is that it's time to make the transition. To either convert the crib into a bed, or to purchase a regular bed with bedrails. So why am I having such an existential crisis over this seemingly benign coming-of-age ritual?

How I longed to use that crib for a new baby. To give Daniel a "big brother" bedroom as we welcomed a new bundle of joy. But November 2009 came and went with no baby. And then July 2010 came and went with no baby. Moving Daniel into a bed became less about forcing him out of his crib and more about forcing me to move on and accept the fact that the crib was not needed -- for now. Part of me wants to convert the crib into a bed for Daniel so I don't have to look at an empty crib. The thought of that empty crib hurts more than you could possibly imagine. Just as I'm saving Daniel's baby clothes and baby toys for the future child that I pray for every day, I believe in my heart that the crib has not served its full purpose. Up until now, it has simply been easier for me to maintain the status quo. But I'm beginning to realize that it might not be in Daniel's best interest. Especially in light of this week's "drawer-sitting" incident. So as I plan to start transitioning Daniel into his big-boy bed this weekend, I say a fond farewell to his baby years, shed some tears over what I've lost, and continue to hope for a happy ending.