Five Years and a Lifetime Ago...

This past weekend, Peter and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. We planned a weekend in the city, complete with dinner at Barclay Prime and an overnight stay at the Sofitel. After checking in to the hotel on Saturday afternoon, we strolled around Rittenhouse Square and did some window shopping and people-watching. Peter and I enjoyed pointing out which stores and restaurants were still around almost 6 years after we moved out of the city in 2004. These "remnants" of our past lives brought back countless memories of a time before we knew each other, before we were married, and before we had a child. Neither Peter nor I could recall what that former life really felt like. It was like we had always been together, and those memories were about other people.

There was once a time when I could stroll around the city, worrying about nothing more than a grad. school assignment. I came and went as I pleased, not thinking about how my actions would affect someone else. Even years later, when I was working professionally as a teacher, I was free as a bird. I would come home from work, go to the gym, eat dinner (in or out -- often deciding at the very last minute!), and spend my evening doing whatever I wanted! As a married suburbanite, I still had a huge amount of personal freedom and flexibility to do as I pleased. Nothing really changed until I had a child.

Daniel upended every routine I had established, from showering and dressing each morning to exercising and relaxing each evening. Every decision I made affected him. If I wanted to take a walk, I had to put him in his stroller. If I wanted to go shopping, I had to drag along a huge bag of feeding and diapering supplies. If I wanted to exercise, I had to wait until my precious boy was napping. My world ultimately revolved around him. It took some getting used to, of course, but I don't even remember what that transition period felt like. All I know is here and now, in my current reality. Even after a lovely weekend free of responsibility and scheduling, I eagerly stepped back into my role as Mommy. Life may have been easier five years ago, but it certainly wasn't better. Daniel has enhanced my life in ways that free time never could.